Wonder Woman – Season 1, Episode 11: “Judgement From Outer Space, Part II”

Will Wonder Woman convince Andros that Earth deserves to live? Will Andros get his Unfortunate (but Powerful) Neckwear back from the Nazis?  Was this episode a lot of filler and was probably supposed to be one 90-minute episode instead of a two-parter?

The answer to these questions and more as we recap “Judgement from Outer Space, Part 2!”

“Wonder Woman to Council of Planets – One to beam the hell up.”

To start off, this episode is FILLED with filler. It’s shorter than average, has a long “Previously on Wonder Woman” recap and stock war footage to fill time. It also has one of the longest hallway chases I’ve ever seen, and SO MUCH philosophizing!

After we finally get through the recap of last week’s episode, we pick up where we left off … Wonder Woman in Andros’ ship covering her ears over an alarm. What do we do? Switch to Steve and General Blankenship, of course!

Force fields are my favorite special effect.

They blather on about some submarine alert and notify the anti-sub patrol. Thye know Andros is on that sub, but what can you do … sea is large.

On Andros’ ship, the alarm stops, but it’s put up a force field. Wonder Woman takes some time to remember Andros erecting a force field before and then sees him whistling. OBVS, that will solve the problem … and it DOES. I have no more whistling jokes left, because this has gone beyond cheesy and dumb, into irritating.  She sits at his control chair, makes the magic medallion in the ship work and pleads with the Council of Planets (who don’t bother to turn on their FaceTime) not to blow up Earth.

“The Council has decided … pepperoni AND pineapple!”

The Councillor from last week who was a tad hateful about Earth AND Andros, is more ready than ever to just blow the damn planet up. The Council takes a vote and the one guy who sort of liked Andros emotes gravely and says, “The Council has decided.” OMINOUS!

“Feel free to check out our collection of Unfortunate Neckwear Choices.”

Two weeks later … yes, that’s correct. We are captioned into two weeks later. The Nazis have had Andros for two weeks, and Blankenship and Steve decide they should act on Winston Churchill’s intelligence that Andros is at the dreaded Schloss Markheim Interrogation Center for Extraterrestrial Life Forms. 

Steve is headed for London and Diana is going to … look after the office. Meanwhile, in Germany, it appears Andros has just arrived. Bjornsen, the Swedish journalist who turned out to be a deep-cover Nazi spy, plays host and offers him clothes and a bath. Has it been two weeks in his silver jumpsuit? If he still had his alien powers that his rather dickish colleagues on the Council took away, I’d think maybe he could whistle up cleanliness. This feels just grimy.

Evil Nazi dinners are ALWAYS black-tie, Andros.

Andros is the guest of honor for dinner and they gave left him a black tie, which he holds up to see if it looks good. It doesn’t.

Steve shows up in London wearing a white trenchcoat, which looks odd on him. Also, how is that good spywear? He meets Mallory, a super spy from Wales. This is a big sticking point for the London office and I’m unsure what Welsh/British relations were like in the 40s, so we have to move on from this scene, which feels like padding for a character we won’t see again –  unless Mallory, Welsh PI was a backdoor pilot of some sort.

Mallory Nolastname, Welsh PI … coming this fall to CBS!

In DC, the office is looked after … until Friday at 5pm. Etta comes in and wants Diana to go t the beach that weekend with her. Diana says she’s going “hunting” and we all have a big laugh that we know she’s hunting for Steve and Etta is clueless.

I don’t see where she put the Sirius XM receiver.

We haven’t seen the invisible plane in a while, and I remember now that there’s always smooth jazz playing when they show it. I imagine Diana likes Kenny G, or the jet is a smooth ride. I would play some yacht rock or some Ride of the Valkyries myself (depending on the situation.)

“Fraulein … and other fraulein, who has no speaking part”

Andros meets his Nazi dinner companions and two frauleins are there to charm him. The Nazi scientist and general want to torture Andros for the secret  of his magic medallion, but Bjornsen is sure Fraulein Engle can get the info using her methods!

“It says the guy I am impersonating is 5’8″ … will that be a plot point problem later on?”

Mallory and Steve jump out of a plane and the parachute footage is simply stock footage. They get no smooth jazz sounds.

No Sirius XM here.

After dinner, Fraulein Engle and Andros retire to his room. She pours some champagne and he makes a pithy remark about how short-lived its sparkle is. Since I work in a hospice, this hits a little too close to home. He uses some alien mind-powers to talk about her childhood (or he is a REALLY good guesser) and she freaks out.

“Like life itself, nothing lasts. Want to play Scrabble?

As she leaves, Andros’ Council friend shows up as a hologram in the room. The hologram guy says he is exercising his privilege and cancelling the trial. They will bring Andros back and kill the Earth. Andros has faith in the humans and won’t go and Council Guy says in that case, I lose a friend AND a planet gets destroyed. Dun dun DUN!

I really want a glowy necklace, too.

The next time the Nazis gather for a Dinner With Andros, Wonder Woman busts in. She just about resuces Andros, but he won’t go –  he needs to stay and do more research. In the confusion, Bjornson grabs Wonder Woman’s belt and lasso, so now she is normal-powered, but she still has bracelets.

1-2-Wonder Woman’s busting through!

The scientist can’t figure out what makes Andros’ medallion or Wonder Woman’s belt work, and the photo of Wonder Woman from the beauty pageant reappears. IT IS a good photo, but come on, people! This is the only photo the Nazis have? That beauty pageant had some PR reach, let me tell you.

To be fair, it was a landmark episode. Not.

They suspect Wondy is the result of scientific experiments  … perhaps some kind of … SUPER-SOLDIER? BWAH HA HA  CAPTAIN AMERICA REFERENCE.

Smells like teen spirit.

Andros and Wonder have a LENGTHY chat on ethics, which, even by 1970s standards is lame. Who did they think was watching this show? Philosophy majors?

“But it was Descartes that said ‘the whole of philosophy is like a tree ….'”

Steve and Mallory show up and in an AMAZING coincidence, a guard looks at his papers and tells him a friend of the Nazi that Steve is impersonating is there in the castle. Steve pretends to know him, but is far too busy to socialize. They have important dispatches to deliver.

Dude, do you SEE an “on” button on a lasso?

Now … they head in and the time frame gets a little wonky. As the Nazi scientist grills Andros and Wonder Woman on their “devices” Andros gets preachy about not letting Earth go into space all violet and atomic-y.

“Tell me, or I’ll yell sternly at you!”

The friend of the Nazi Steve is impersonating (damn, this gets confusing) comes out to the guard and wants to see his buddy –  it turns out he has one of his uniforms and he wants it back (because sharing uniforms in the military is common?). The guard says no way, this guy is 6’2” and that uniform wouldn’t fit tiny little you. NOW they know Steve and Mallory are spies.

So, by the time Steve and Mallory get to the general’s office with their “dispatches,” Bjornson has been alerted. So Steve and Mallory stopped to get lunch, or that is one long walk through the castle.  Bjornson has Wondy and Andros brought in and threatens to kill them all if Andros doesn’t give him atomic weapons.

Yeah, the magnifying glass will help.

They all go in for “questioning,” but none of them get tortured, as I guess the philosophy majors that watch this time slot wouldn’t go for that. The scientist gets mad at Andros for saying his magic medallion is part of his mind. The scientist yells that is “mystic nonsense,” but wasn’t Hitler all into that?

Wondy gives a speech bout governing with gentleness and FINALLY, Andros is convinced that the Nazis are evil scum and he must help Wonder Woman and the Allies. That took what, two weeks and a couple of days and dinner with the frauleins? Sheesh.

It’s like they’re playing Red Light, Green Light.

From space, the Council freezes the Nazis and Andros and Wondy get their stuff back. They go to free Steve and Mallory but first have to hide in a closet for plot reasons. There’s a nice moment where Andros tells Wonder Woman she renewed his faith in humankind, which is nice, but I’m glad he’s not here in 2020.

I’m here for you … in a closet filled with chemicals.

There is a lot of bongo music in the background as they free Steve and Mallory and run around endlessly in the same corridors from the Nazis. It is legitimately dumb, but maybe this is what took Steve and Mallory so long to get those dispatches to the general.

SO many corridor shots.

Wonder Woman finally bends some steel across the doors and they head out. Also, Fraulein Engle jumps in to help. We don’t know why, but Andros gives her some pensive looks, so maybe they boned. This episode has gone so off the rails, it’s possible.

“I just can’t help myself!”

They are ALMOST out of the castle, when a squad of Nazis has them trapped. Andros begs the Council to restore his full power, since Wonder Woman is the hope of this entire, misguided planet. The Nazis freeze and everyone gets out.

We never see Mallory again, and Wonder Woman and Andros say goodbye at his spaceship. Perhaps it’s been two weeks for them to get back or Wondy flew them all in the invisible jazz music jet. We don’t know.

“You could, I dunno, come with me.”

Andros says the planet is troubled and he’s only able to guarantee her 50 more years. Then he’ll be back for Judgement, Part 3.

It’s hard to say goodbye to your first alien.

Then, even though she‘s the “hope of this entire, misguided planet,” he asks her to come space-hopping with him. She can visit dolphin planets, plan planets (!) and planets where you can fly. I would, of course, go with him, but she has her pledge to save Earth.

He says, no prob, I’ll be back in 1992. He flies off, and there was a run of Wonder Woman issues in the 90s where she was trapped in space, and now all I want is an Andros/WW show where they travel the galaxy and whistle at things.

“Phone home!”

At the War Department, Steve and Diana have forgotten all about their tiff last episode. Steve is still looking for Andros, which … really? Diana reminds him he said he was going home, why wouldn’t that BE where he was going? Steve wants to make sure he is 100% gone –  he saw how  Wonder Woman looked at him. OMG.

I think Wonder Eyerolling may also be a power.

Diana assures him Wonder Woman is here to stay and will eventually bone him. Well, she doesn’t SAY that, but we know it’s true.

Ugh. Two out of five magic lassos. As much as I loved the first episode and as short as this one was, it was boring AF. Oh well.

Next week … an Argentine scientist creates a formula that makes rubber indestructible … for better birth control, I guess? OH MY! See you then!

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