All posts by bonehead

The New Year’s Resolution I Haven’t Kept

Not just to be more consistent with my own bloody blog – but the one resolution I promised to keep after 6 months of flying back and forth was to buy something from SkyMall! Who does buy from there? People must, I know, or they wouldn’t still publish the darn thing. Sure, everyone likes to dream about a wooden bracelet assistant that helps you snap the clasp … but do people buy them?

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What I Think About When Flying

1) Those millimeter wave scanners are clearly based on medical technology and they are finding something wrong with my left knee because they pat it down every time. 2) It’s 2013 and people STILL try to bring water through security. 3) I wonder if I need knee surgery. 4) I need breakfast, but I’m not paying $8.95 for a egg and cheese bagel. 5) My other breakfast option is Twizzlers and trail mix. 6) Okay, I need the protein. Plus, you expect to get ripped…

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It Is What It Is

The main reason I want some clone body technology, is to avoid ever spending another minute in an emergency room. Fixing problems like broken bones, lacerations, pneumonia and death, I feel should be as easy as replacing the batteries in my wireless mouse. Click and re-connect, please. In reality, I am sort of amazed at everything to do with hospitals. I can’t imagine the mental and emotional walls you’d have to erect to deal with the suffering and sheer magnitude of the millions of ways…

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Do we need another hero?

In moving forward in a couple of writing projects, I have been stalled several times and found myself asking,”Why? Why now? Why now, when I clearly need to get some things finished, become rich and famous and buy the house next door so I can knock it down and make a two-story pool that gets me into Architectural Digest and Tina Turner sees it and contacts me so we can become best friends and hang out all the time and re-enact 80s videos together?” Perhaps…

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What I Think About At The Gym

1. I hate coming here. 2. I want to swim, but I got sick the last two times I went in that pool. Those old people’s germs and diseases probably leap off them as they do those stupid waterobics. 3. Do they really need 36 giant TV screens in here? I don’t want to be forced to watch Faux News. 4. Personally, I think the villain monologues from Doctor Who on my playlist are pretty darn motivating. 5. That guy would be perfect casting for…

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