Is Jock having an affair? Did J.R. forge his daddy’s will? Are we about to see what’s REALLY in the Red File, once and for all?!?! Let’s saddle up and down to SouthFork!

Décor For Gold Diggers, By Julie Grey

We don’t waste any time building up Julie’s reappearance. She’s on the phone to Victor at the Cattleman’s Club asking him to tell her the next time Jock comes to lunch. Did people do this sort of thing? Was a maitre’ d expected to give gold diggers info like this? Did they get a percentage? I have questions!

Score – Love all!

It’s Sunday morning and Bobby and Pam are off to play tennis. There’s no court at the ranch? What are they, 99%ers? Escandalo! Jock wonders why Bobby didn’t wake him up to do ranch things, and Bobby knows momma would skin him alive he if woke Jock up on a Sunday morning.

Bobby also cracks a joke to Pam about his rich kid upbringing gives him a tennis advantage. Oh, 1970s!

Don’t Mess With Marilee – coming to CBS this fall!

Inside, the ladies of the Daughters of Alamo are meeting. Jock walks in to get a drink as Sue Ellen is reminding Marilee Stone they remain nonpartisan in all their efforts.  Marilee, who will later become part of the Cartel jokes to the Jock they are plotting a revolution. Now, I want to see a show about Marilee’s rise to power. I suspect she was the Ann Richards of the group.

Lucy did like blondes.

Later, Lucy having a pool party! What in the world? She has friends? And a potential new boyfriend! The boyfriend, when chasing Lucy, runs into the tiniest outdoor grill I’ve ever seen. Jock moves to get it out of the way, but the boyfriend handles it. Seems like everyone is treating Jock like an invalid

“It burns!”

Especially at dinner. Miss Ellie scolds him about salt. J.R.  doesn’t want him to come into the office and drop in on the meeting with Marilee’s husband. Bobby and Pam probably don’t want him to do something, but they keep their mouths shut.

“Shut up shutting up Lucy.”

Jock says he’s coming in anyway, as he’s going to Harv Smithfield’s office to update his will and make sure J.R.’s new son is provided for. Lucy asks what if it’s a girl and Sue Ellen gives her a look of death. Jock gets pushed to his limit when no one wants him to come into town and he explodes. “The day I start taking orders from anybody is they day they bury me!” Crikey!

Next day, Jock attends the meeting and Marilee’s husband Seth suggests (and I am not kidding, here) fracking some wells. THEY HAD FRACKING IN THE 70S?? Who on the writing staff was doing this kind of in-depth research? WOW. Seth is smoking a cigar in the office, which is rude, because we know that’s all Jock wants.  Well, that and a lunch buddy.

Remember when you could smoke indoors?

Bobby is too busy, Punk Anderson is busy, so Jock goes to lunch alone at the Cattleman’s Club. Now, who do you suppose he might run into there?

What a coincidence.

Julie shows up and she’s happy, as she’s wanted to apologize to him for giving the Red File to Cliff Barnes. In about three seconds, Jock forgives her, saying even though it destroyed the career of his friend, “It’s just politics.” He orders champagne and says “Welcome home, Julie.”

Eight drinks later, we find out Julie’s been in New York City, but didn’t like it and she wonders how Louella is doing. Jock says J.R. misses Julie and that a good secretary is harder to find than a good wife. Jiminy Christmas, Jock, your 1950s is showing!

Julie says J.R. must be thrilled about the baby and Jock needs to smoke. He’s gone from 5 a day to 5 a month, which may explain the heart attack. Jock complains about how everyone treats him. Julie reminds he was the one that almost singlehandedly put out a fire at a well. All the other, younger men were collapsing, but not Jock.

Not a three-hour tour, though.

She also mentions the last 3 hours (THEY HAD A THREE-HOUR LUNCH!) have been the happiest she’s been in a long time. She has to go shopping for an interview, and big, macho, oil-well-fire-putter-outer Jock Ewing is tickled to come along. W.T.F.

The Shopping Adventures of Jock and Julie, however, does sound like a BBC reality show ready to happen.

What did he buy? Dresses? Scarves? Unfortunate neckwear?

Jock shows up late to the ranch and Raoul has to take all the packages up to his room. At least Jock shopped for Miss Ellie! Jock downplays all the fuss, but come on … this ain’t like him.

Next day, Jock and Julie have lunch again. Bobby and Pam are ALSO having lunch at the Cattlemen’s Club and they run into Jock and Julie and it is AWK-WARD. Jock is driving Julie off to her interview and that is not weird behavior at all. Pam and Bobby look at each other helplessly … after all what can you do?

“Just daddy havin’ an affair. Nothing to see here.”

Bobby calls home from the office and finds Jock never came home or to the lawyer’s. Bobby tells J.R. what happened and J.R. is totally unsurprised and also doesn’t seem to care that his daddy his cheatin’ on his momma! Nope, to J.R., its just another Ewing day … after all, “Daddy’s only human.”

Who wore it worse?

At Julie’s apartment, we find they’ve had another 3-hour lunch, and in talking about Jock’s wildcatting days, have caused him to miss his appointment and no woman has EVR made him miss an appointment before. Julie is right there with a hug and a “You’re the best friend I have.”

Bobby and J.R. wait for Jock on the patio. They confront him and he gets angry and doesn’t like their tone. Miss Ellie comes out, upset with Jock and that actually gets him away from J.R. and Bobby’s scrutiny.

“Mommy, daddy – please don’t get a divorce!”

Julie gets a bunch of flowers delivered to her door, and as she looks for a tip in her purse, the delivery boy vanishes and J.R. appears.  He questions her on her motives and she claims to have only wanted to apologize. J.R. is rightfully skeptical … after all, he points out, a two-day apology? Julie won’t apologize for treating Jock like the man he is.

“I do need some new décor …”

J.R. gets down to brass tacks … he wants to know if Julie has told Jock what’s really in the Red File. She hasn’t, but can’t believe Jock’s own son would forge his will so after his death, SouthFork will become an oil field. Julie … have you, in fact, met J.R. ? J.R. threatens her but she won’t leave town.

Another suitcase in another hall.

Next morning, Jock is jogging (!) and J.R. asks him whose idea was for him to go back to work … his or Julie’s. This gets the desired reaction and J.R. says that Julie is dirt –  high-class and stylish dirt, but still dirt. She’s also only interested in two things: money and more money.

Was he jogging from the pool to the patio?

Jock tells J.R. not to tell him what to do and he’s not so old he can’t keep J.R. in line. Oooh, give him a spanking, Jock! Jock leaves and Miss Ellie comes out, wondering why J.R. is arguing with his medically-fragile father.

The first rule of Ewing affairs is we don’t talk about Ewing affairs.

J.R. decides this is the perfect time to tell his momma his suspicions that Jock is sleeping around with his ex-secretary. Tact and grace, as always. Miss Ellie says its’ nonsense and this is the last time we’ll speak of it.

Why so dressy?

However, she goes right upstairs to confront Jock. He’s getting dressed up and complaining that if Miss Ellie had her way, he’d be in a rocking chair all day. She presses the issue, asking what he;s been up to and he says it doesn’t concern her. Wow. Then he reminds her that when they married, he would “account to no woman.” WOW.

So, Miss Ellie does what she has to … and calls information and asks for a new listing –  Julie Grey.

Not awkward at all.

Miss Ellie has Julie come over to the ranch for coffee. Imagine what that drive must have been like for Julie … your ex-boss’s mom has invited you to come over out of the blue –  it sure ain’t to discuss plans for a surprise party. Julie tells Miss Ellie how intimidated she is by her and Miss Ellie says  Jock and Julie’s relationship has gone far enough.

Julie says their just friends and there’s nothing to worry about, and as she explains who they make each other feel needed. Their relationship isn’t what Miss Ellie thought it was. That lets Ellie know it’s far more serious than she thought.

“Keep your hands off my man.”

While this is going on, Jock is at a jewelry store, buying a fancy necklace. Oh, lordy! At the office, Bobby confronts Jock about the affair and then Miss Ellie walks in. She tells Jock he knows damn well it won’t end at “friendship.” Miss Ellie reminds Jock he is the one who insists everyone in the family be home at 6 for dinner and now she’s insisting … and he says, sorry, he has other plans and walks out. WOW!

“‘Tis but the work of a moment.”

That night, the dinner table is super quiet. Lucy and Sue Ellen are the only ones who don’t know what’s going on. Lucy splits to go study. J.R.said he’s had enough of no one saying what they’re all thinking. Miss Ellie tells him she’s perfectly able to manage her own life.  J.R. keeps pressing things and he and Bobby almost come to blows.

They sure do fight a lot.

Miss Ellie is depressed in her room (and probably hungry, I doubt any of them ate a lot) and Pam comes in wanting to help. She reminds Miss Ellie of the story she told Pam about taking a horsewhip to Jock in order to get him to marry her. Pam asks where that woman is, and Miss Ellie, fired up, says she’s right here.

I want to know where that whip is.

Jock is at Julie’s apartment and they are also eating in silence. He gives her the necklace and she wonders if it is a “hello” present or a “goodbye” present. Well, it may have started as a hello, but it’s definitely goodbye now. Jock can’t hurt Miss Ellie.

Definitely a goodbye present.

He leaves the apartment complex as Miss Ellie gets out of a taxi. Jock asks if she has her horsewhip and Miss Ellie asks him if she needs it. He apologizes and she says it’s not all his fault, which I guess implies she felt she was being too micromanaging? Regardless, Jock opens the door for her and they drive home.

But wait … can that be it? That’s our Capiche Moment? Oh, no …

Capiche Moment: J.R. is waiting outside and watches his parents drive off. He knocks on Julie’s door and forces himself on her!  EWWWW!

Didn’t see THAT coming.

Great episode, and I loved Julie Grey. So many great callbacks to earlier episodes and just all around awesome. 4 out of 5 Sue Ellen virgin martinis.

Next week — Julie is still in town … but she won’t be for long. Join us, won’t you, for “The Red File, Part I”!

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