PEW PEW PEW! FRANCIS IS BACK!
And Mariette Hartley guest stars as an android – I can’t wait to dive right in, so join me, won’t you, so we can find out where the heck Francis has been hiding in Logan’s Run!
The solar craft is being chased by a Sandman car. This is why they shouldn’t have gotten so close to the City of Domes last episode! Team Five is in hot pursuit and calls Francis for backup. YAY! Pensive looks are sure to ensue!
REM takes the wheel and Logan jumps out of the car to try and surprise them. The Sandmen pull them over like a traffic stop and Logan is able to stun them from behind.
Instead of taking their weapons, REM steals some part from their car. OMG, people! I despise guns but … TAKE THEIR DAMN WEAPONS!
An indeterminate time later, they drive up through Griffith Park and discover the Observatory. REM suggests it might be a temple … or perhaps an observatory. Hee hee hee.
Mariette Hartley, whose name is Ariana, is pulling a Stevie Nicks and releasing a white-winged dove. She invites them in and serves them a smart drink that tells them what their bodies need. When REM declines a drink, she scans that his 32-isodon is nearly out. Does this mean isodon is the dilithium crystal of Logan’s world?
As they decide to stay the night, REM protests his isodons are as good as they ever were, and then his shoulder sparks unexpectedly. WTF, REM, do androids have premature electrocution? Get those isodons fixed!
There are three separate beds that play music when you sit on them. This seems super appealing to Logan and Jessica. Why? Don’t they sleep together? No, they sleep in separate beds like Lucy and Ricky Ricardo. Ariana works on REM and when she goes to attend to something (code for “put weird devices on Logan and Jessica’s heads”) REM’s other shoulder sparks.
This keeps happening whenever Ariana is near him and he complains that, “You make me spark!” She goes to monitor Logan and Jessica’s B-levels which are extremely stressed. REM wonders what is up, but clearly she sparks everyone.
FINALLY! Francis is back! He and another Sandman are tracking Logan and have lost the trail. They make camp for the night.
REM asks what Ariana is doing. She explains this is a dream analysis station, and she’s surprised they didn’t know what they were getting into. REM wants to wake them but she says they can’t. They have to sleep it off — and hopefully not go into D-level … as that stands for DEATH!
REM finally clues in that Ariana is an android, as we enter Logan’s dream.
He falls into a cave and there’s laughter. His gun gets pulled out of his hand (shock of the 20’s). Sandmen laugh evilly and say “Lose something?” Yeah, like EVERY EPISODE.
Jessica’s dream is trippier. She re-watching the footage of Carousel and she’s screaming, trying to make people stop Carouselling. She gets caught by one of the masked Carousellers and they put a mask on her.
Ariana asks if REM’s annoyed. He’s emitting a disagreeable frequency and I certainly know a few people that do that as well. We slip back into Logan’s dream and he hears Jessica yelling for him. He’s running in slow motion with multiple camera afterimages, so that we can tell this is the dream part.
Jessica is staring at a row of skeletons in black cloaks. Logan’s mirror image tells him to forget Jessica – he can run faster alone.
Meanwhile, Francis can’t sleep. He broods pensively off into the distance. His buddy stretches out and goes to sleep.
Logan and Jessica are in C-cycle which will draw out deeper anxieties. This seems counter-intuitive. REM thinks androids are lucky that they don’t dream (except of course electric sheep!) Ariana argues humans may be luckier for, I dunno, reasons. REM starts wondering about “love,” which means we are about to see some full-on android snogging in a minute!
He flirts with her and starts caressing her arm and face. His shoulders aren’t sparking now! She says she feels his touch with her whole being, so we’d better cut to some Logan and Jessica nightmares or this may get R-rated, quick!
Logan’s in a geometric room with babies crying. It’s the Nursery, and Jessica goes in against orders. I’m unsure if they are sharing a dream or Logan is dreaming about Jess in his dream. A giant Mom figure shows up. She and Jessica talk in echoey voices. God, I love 70s sci-fi!
Jessica slow-motion runs out of there. In the real world, she’s reaching for Logan’s hand, but the angles of the beds prevent it. Rude!
Ariana is confused by the dreamers’ quick change from cycle to cycle. She also notices the Sandmen are on the way and they can’t wake Jessica or Logan up, as it would be dangerous. Now, Jess is dreaming of creepy Carousel Man and he starts teleporting after her. The repeated multiple images and soundtrack is a delicious stew of post-psychedelic TV … but it does go on a bit long.
Ariana is afraid they are heading to D-cycle as all humans have a death wish. I find this … somewhat true, but REM is certain Logan and Jessica don’t have that. REM wants to know what happens if a dreamer is awakened mid-cycle. Ariana says they have seizures and died. REM somehow makes the leap of logic that she’s not certain this is the cause. REM, are you androidsplaining???
REM uses his magic tuning fork and presses it with the ACTUAL SOUNDS OF A TELEPHONE! Who is he calling? Ariana slows down and freezes. That is, pardon the pun, cold-blooded.
Outside, Francis wakes his buddy up. He’s ready to find his dream man, Logan! As REM tries to recheck her computations, Ariana wakes and points a blaster at him. He asks her for her help, and this somehow is enough to convince her. That and the fact their intelligence equals 500 Newsted (I’m at a loss on that one, folks), means they’ll figure it out.
In the dream world, Creepy Glitter Carousel Man convinces Jessica to go with him and not Logan. Well, give her some reason not to, you gun-losing moron!!
Francis and his pal are closing in on Griffith Observatory. It’s almost time for a dream/real life showdown! Inside, REM explains about Sandmen and the City of Domes rules about dying at 30. Suddenly, Ariana understands it all – the death culture is causing the intense readings. She rigs a thing to give them a 30-second delay between cycles to remove the cranial devices. Ariana insists she fight off the Sandmen.
In some giant theater, Glitter Carousel Man is taunting Jessica. She admits she loves Logan and in GCM’s eyes is the death of love. This is some psychobabble stuff now! GCM wants Jessica to belong to him. Suddenly she loves this guy and as she’s about to succumb, she hears Logan. She pulls off GCM’s mask and its … Francis?
IS THIS WHERE HE HAS BEEN FOR SIX EPISODES? Who does he think he is … Bobby Ewing?
Ariana gets into a standoff with Francis and he shoots her. NOOOoooo!
Francis gets inside and forces Logan to (wait for it) drops his weapon. Francis asks if this his “Sanctuary” and it even sounds like he’s saying it in air quotes. REM suddenly psyches Francis out. They trick Francis into thinking the place is a contacting station for Sanctuary.
After some bullshit explanations about power cables and range, Logan tells Francis has to put the cranial device on their heads to work. He makes his buddy Clay do it. They hook him up to the equipment. Okay, no Sandmen have ever watched any TV if they fall for this.
Logan and the others tell Clay to close his eyes and concentrate. He falls asleep and drops his gun. Logan takes advantage of Francis’ surprise and points both pistols at him. Logan says “life is but a dream” and stuns Francis. Then he puts the cranial device on him.
REM and the others check on Ariana. He gets to work and repairs her. She wakes up in a stunning gold number. However, even though she looks amazing, REM has to leave. He promises to come back one day … if he can. However, before he leaves he wants a favor.
THEY KISS! And his shoulders spark!! He’s a little too gleeful about that while she sheds a tear. They are both stunned – her new beryllium parts must be responsible. Well, you know, it’s like dust for us humans.
A sad violin version of the theme song plays as they drive off.
Awww! It was a fun, trippy episode. I give it three Sanctuary ankhs out of five. I would have loved to see her come back in a future episode … but we’re down to the last four. See you next week for the next leg of Logan’s Run! PEW PEW PEW PEW!